


Best (Wo)man

by Dinnerbiatch, sciencebiatch



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, FitzSimmons - Freeform, Made of Honor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-25 03:15:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4944658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dinnerbiatch/pseuds/Dinnerbiatch, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencebiatch/pseuds/sciencebiatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If it meant, for Jemma to be there standing beside him at the aisle … watching him get married to another girl : that’s what she’d do because even if she did love him, more than anything, his happiness came before hers. </p><p> <br/>Leo Fitz has finally found the right girl and is ready to settle down, but just as he gets married Jemma realizes the big mistake she's made - the mistake of falling in love with her best friend. Her now engaged best friend. When Fitz asks her to be his best (wo)man Jemma agrees, using the opportunity to try to get Fitz back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Called a Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started off as a 'Made of Honor AU' but has now evolved into something else ... enjoy :)

His breath started to quicken.

 

He couldn’t pull away. 

 

She ran her hand through the bottom of his curls, her breath soft and sultry. Her skin was so fair and her eyes so bright. Her nails moved to drag down his chest - he could feel her feeling down his abs. She loved the feeling of his muscles under his shirt. She looked back up at him through her eyelashes before actually noticing his features. His eyes were what stood out most to her - the brightness as they shone even in the dim lighting. 

 

She moved back up reattaching her arms to link behind his neck before she reached up to whisper in his ear;

 

“Hunter” she called out dropping her voice to make it sound as sexy as possible. 

 

She felt his whole body stiffen. Looking back up at him blinking her eyelashes as she put on a cute smile his face changed from enjoyment to confused to anger. 

 

“Hunter” He whispered to her face angrily, “Of course - you thought I was Hunter. Fitz! I’m Fitz.” He spat out in her face taking a step back from her. 

 

It wasn’t then until she realized. She’d mistakenly flirted with the wrong guy. She felt herself blush a bright red but she still wanted to make the most of this opportunity. 

 

“I’m Jemma” She told him placing a hand on his chest again, hoping he wouldn’t mind the mix up - but unfortunately for her, he did. 

 

“I know who you are” He told her angrily before he started to move further away from her, “You’re THE flirt” He told her not afraid to insult her, “ You go from one guy to another. Once you break up with your boyfriend you go find a new one. You don’t even care about anything meaningful about love!” 

 

Jemma looked at him quite shocked at the brutal honesty from someone who was quite literally a stranger but she didn’t say anything - she didn’t quite know what to say,

 

“Leo …-” She called him by his first name but she never finished her sentence. 

 

Fitz just looked at her. He’d never really spoken to Jemma - only just saw her at work. Seeing her up close he saw why all those guys wanted to date her. The way her hair shone in the dim lighting and how her skin seemed soft with light freckles dancing on the tops of her shoulders. His eyes reflected against her skin and her lips almost seemed irresistible. Fitz felt himself being pulled in by her flirtatious manner and he had to pull himself out of it again. 

 

Once he regained his normal mindset he saw her for what she really was again - the flirt, the player.

 

“You .. You don’t understand. You leave guys like it’s no big deal. You go on dates till you find someone even remotely acceptable before keeping them under your leash for a few weeks before just letting them go.” Fitz told her before just walking away. He didn’t want to be around her any longer than he had to and he’d already made a fool of himself with his really unneeded outburst. 

 

While walking away he felt her presence following him. He groaned throwing his head back before stopping to look at her while she called his name as he walked away. 

 

“No-.. no one has ever been that honest with me” Jemma admitted before looking at him with an expression that made her words seem true. Fitz honestly was quite embarrassed by all that had just happened, that was very out of his ordinary manner and he didn’t expect to be so vocal towards her. 

 

“It’s called a friend” Fitz told her before he made his way to Hunter who was on the other side of the room making out with his ex girlfriend pointing out to Jemma who she was really meant to be seeing. 

 

Fitz looked at Jemma who had a hardened look in her eyes while watching Hunter kissing Bobbi. 

 

“Guess you didn’t know about his ex wife ...” Fitz told her before he walked away leaving Jemma standing there alone. 

 

Jemma looked at Fitz who was walking away back to Hunter. She shook her head softly - not believing that had just happened. Not the fact that she had been stood up by Hunter but by everything that Fitz had said to her. She decided that it was time to leave, she had overstayed her welcome here. 

 

Walking away - out of the door of the club - Jemma let out a laugh thinking back to what Fitz said. No one had ever been that honest with her. Everyone either admired her or was trying to throw themselves at her and she always took it as best as she always would. Smiling she thought about Fitz again - from his cute scrawny look you could never tell he had such a tone … or was so toned underneath his plaid shirts and tie. 

 

Turning back she saw Fitz turn around. Her feet haltered to an unconscious stop as she just stood there looking at him. She let out a genuine smile at in taking in all his best features. When he smiled back with a nod to his head she let out a breathe she didn’t know she was holding. 

 

She never believed that one person could change her. But one short moment with Leo Fitz - she knew something in her was changed forever. 

 

Fitz watched her with wide eyes waiting to see if she would say anything. How had he gone from being so aroused and turned on at a girl to almost yelling at their face to admitting they were friends. She was honestly one of a kind and he really didn’t want to admit at how aroused he was when she had her hands all over him and even through all the hatred he saw something else in her. Something that made him recognise that together they were a force to be reckoned with. 

 

\---~~---

 

{10 years later}

 

From the 10 years between when they first met Jemma and Fitz were known as the best friends which were never meant to be. From the wreckage of their failed first meeting came an everblooming friendship which lasted 10 long years and was still ongoing. The two of them now we're closer than ever - content with their lives and basically still doing the same things they were and always have been doing. 

 

“Sorry I’m late,” Jemma rushed in pulling out her seat before sitting down across Fitz. She smiled up at him with a wide grin hoping he’d forgive her. 

 

“Work?” He asked. 

 

“You wouldn’t believe it. It’s like there aren’t any other biochemists in the whole of America?” Jemma exaggerated throwing her arms up before letting out a sigh. 

 

Fitz smiled at her apologetically. 

 

Throughout the 10 years they had been friends there were two things that hadn’t changed. The first was Jemma’s constant flirting with any living creature that had testosterone and the second was Leopold’s lingering crush on Jemma Simmons. 

 

Even now he watched as Jemma battered her eyelashes and push her chest out a little bit more as she flirted with the waiter who was serving them. Fitz felt his hand ball up into a fist. He had to try and calm his breathing - he hated to admit that he was jealous but he knew he was. Over the years his crush had grown from lust to a full blown crush that Fitz would never tell Jemma about because she never saw him as anything than as a best friend - he was always the wingman, the sideline, the guy who sat and watched while she flirted with other people. 

 

Jemma waved the waiter away before she turned back to look at Fitz who was looking away with a hard look on his face. She was just about to ask him what was wrong but he turned back and Fitz plastered a smile on his face hoping that all of this would go away. 

 

As one waiter left another one came by and before Jemma could start flirting with him as well Fitz cut in, ordering what they were going to eat ignoring everything else that was going on with his body. 

 

“We’ll get a creamy chicken pesto pasta, a side of mozzarella cheese sticks and a buffalo steak sandwich” Fitz ordered with a smile at the waiter. 

 

When that waiter left as well Jemma looked at him with bright eyes. Fitz’s hard look suddenly softened he couldn’t ever stay mad at her for very long.  

 

What Jemma liked about Fitz was that he knew exactly what she wanted to eat and when she wanted it. Fitz was amazing like that - all her boyfriends always assume she only eats caesar salads and always order the totally wrong thing. He always understood her in a different way.  

 

“So … flirting with waiters while you’ve still got a boyfriend” Fitz looked at her with a smirk on his face trying to breaking the silence and find something else to talk to Jemma about. Last time he checked Jemma was still dating Trip and he really didn’t want to let him go. Out of all of Jemma’s boyfriends Trip had to be one of Fitz’s favourites. 

 

“We broke up” Jemma mumbled knowing how fond of Trip Fitz was placing a hand on his shoulder causing Fitz to stiffen at the sudden touch. 

 

He needed Jemma to stop touching him, stop giving him looks which he turned into something sexual and most of all : he needed her to stop moaning while eating. Her moans were making him harder than he was before and now he was starting to feel uncomfortable in his seat. Jemma gave him an odd look but he just tried to ignore her gaze. 

 

“You mean you dumped him” Fitz pointed out knowing Jemma too well - turning it back onto her. 

 

“I didn’t like his closeness with his mother. It was just … too close” Jemma said shrugging her shoulders like it was no big deal, “He couldn’t take the honesty … so i had to let him go” 

 

“Do you always have to be so honest … you’re breaking someone's heart out there ?” Fitz asked like he always did. 

  
“Leo … “ She looked at him wondering whether to tell him the truth or not, “I have to tell the truth Fitz .. I always do” Jemma looked at him hoping he couldn’t see through her lie. 

 

Fitz let out a sigh - she would never change that way. Knowing that she basically put him down and friendzoned him in any and every possible way Fitz basically felt his hard on slowly goes away slumping his shoulders down almost upset. 

 

Fitz will never know but deep down she felt something for him but she would never tell him. She lies to him everyday - she never tells him the truth. She never tells him that from the first day they met that she had a crush on him. But she would never admit it to him or herself. She tells herself everyday that it’s just a lust but deep down she knows it’s more. 


	2. Wedding Arrangements

"Please Leo" Jemma tugged onto his arm pleading him. 

"No Jemma. I'm not coming with you to another one of your dad's weddings." He told her sternly before taking a bit of his pie trying to act angry at her. 

Jemma watched him as he ate his pie, ignoring her and her request. 

Frowning she pulled the plate of pie towards her so he couldn't keep eating it and hopefully agree to her proposition. 

"Hey!" Leo cried out annoyed before he tried grabbing his pie back. 

"Nuh-uh. Not until you agree to go with me" Jemma told him a sly grin making a way onto her face before she burst out laughing. 

"Fine. Then I won't have the pie." Fitz huffed out before crossing his arms, telling her that he was being 100% serious. 

Jemma was shocked. Did he really not want to go to a wedding with her ? The last times hadn't been that bad - they'd just taken advantage off the free bar and just joked about people's horrible dress sense. 

It wasn't that Fitz didn't want to go with Jemma to another one of her dad's wedding it was that he didn't want to hear her say it again.... 

At the last wedding everything seemed to be alright. Jemma had worn this beautiful cream dress which made her look even more gorgeous than ever and most of the day they'd held hands and linked arms while they walked around and made polite conversation with the guests. Fitz remembered not knowing where to put his hand as he guided her through the crowd of people because her dress had a low back and showed so much skin. Jemma had to hold his hand and pull him around everywhere. Smiling he remembered when he'd dragged Jemma onto the dance floor. He'd placed his hand lightly on her waist but she pulled him closer until their bodies were pressed against each other. He remembered his heart beating erratically in his chest and when the song ended he had to pull back quickly before he did something he would regret. Jemma had been so happy on that day. She was smiling and laughing and talking to everyone she saw. Fitz - who was having a better time than he'd expected - followed Jemma around politely joining into her conversation wherever he could. That was the day he finally realized that he was happy when she was happy. 

Later that same night - after dancing ... and .. well more dancing. Fitz finally got Jemma to get off the dance floor and just as they were walking back to their table one of Jemma's dad's work partners came to talk to them. 

"Jemma, darling. Don't you look as gorgeous as ever. I haven't seen you in so long - you've grown so much" The lady - whom Fitz later found out was Marie - commented brushing her hand across Jemma's cheek. 

"Marie!" Jemma squealed before enveloping her into a hug. 

"You must be a lucky man" Marie had said, turning to Fitz.

Leo had nodded. He was a lucky man. He was lucky to have Jemma as a best friend - and he was lucky that there was no one else he'd rather spend his every moment with. 

"Oh no Marie! You're getting the wrong idea. Fitz and I aren't together. We're best friends." Jemma had told the older women before grinning at Fitz nudging his shoulder. 

That was when Fitz felt his heart break. He knew that Jemma didn't feel the same way - but when she said it like that. It just made it sound all that worse. 

Was the idea of them being together that horrendous to her ? 

Fitz couldn't go through that again. 

Looking back up at Jemma he saw the girl he loved. The girl he would do anything for - yet the one he couldn't be with. 

Jemma moved her seat closer to him. When she didn't say anything Fitz started to worry. She was never this silent. He looked down at the table - trying to ignore her - but when he looked up again all he could hear was his heartbeat. 

She'd moved until her legs were slightly touching his. Her fingers brushing onto his arm before she moved them until they gripped his forearm. Fitz felt his breathe quicken as Jemma moved closer to him. 

"Please Leo,.." Jemma spoke to him in a soft sultry voice that he'd heard her use multiple times before. 

She'd leaned so close that her face was only inches away from his. He could see every freckle on his face and feel her breathe on his face. 

Jemma moved her face closer to his - she wanted to see what he would do. It was taking every inch of his body not to just press his lips against hers. He'd imagine kissing her more times than he'd like to say and the fact that he could - for the first time - feel her soft lips press against his - was more than he'd ever hoped for. 

Fitz didn't know what was going on in Jemma's mind but he knew this was wrong. She didn't feel the same way - and he didn't want to pressure her into something they'd both regret. 

He pulled away quickly before trying to awkwardly brush away the perfect moment that he'd just ruined. 

"Why .. umm ... Why don't you take your boyfriend - well your next one?" Fitz asked her, trying to avoid as much eye contact. 

Jemma frowned. Her heart still beat in her chest. She could feel the shadow of Fitz's lips less than an inch away from hers. Taking a few deep breathes Jemma had to calm herself down. She tried to think about what would have happened if they had actually kissed. How would Fitz have reacted ? 

Jemma didn't want to take anyone else to the wedding because she wanted to take him. She wanted Fitz by her side throughout the whole day. She wanted to dance with him all night and have him close all day. It was a day where she could hold his hand and link her arm with his without it being awkward. 

That was until someone mistaken them as a couple. Then she had to save herself the embarrassment and deny. She didn't want Fitz to think she was just using him. 

"I don't want them to get the wrong idea. You know .. commitment" Jemma mumbled off a response even thought she knew it was a lie. If anything she wanted the commitment - she'd commit to Fitz any day. 

"Fine. Fine." Fitz agrees before Jemma squeals pulling him into a big hug.


	3. Dances and Exes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma longs to be like the couple on the dance floor. Happy and with her one true love. What she doesn't need is a crazy stalker ex to ruin what was meant to be her perfect night out with Fitz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys. School and everything has been a bit hectic.

The wedding was beautiful. Jemma had to give it up to her new step-mum, she had really put effort into the planning. Not only that but she had to admit that Fitz looked amazing in his suit. 

Throughout the whole day Jemma had been with Fitz. He was with her through all the awkward family reunions and now she had her arm linked in his and they were standing greeting guests. She turned her head to look at him. When Jemma noticed that Fitz wasn’t really concentrating on her, she used the time to her advantage to just look at how good he looked. He had shaved and combed his hair back and his suit fit him so nicely. The shirt was tight to his body and those pants made her really want to just touch his butt - if it wasn’t so weird. 

Jemma took her mind out the gutter before bringing herself back and noticing Fitz was staring at her. No - Not staring .. more like admiring and it made her blush a bright red. Her dress wasn’t even that extravagant. It was a long blush pink dress which was a sweetheart neckline. It wasn’t half as exciting as some of the other girls who were in the room - Jemma didn't understand why Fitz was looking at her. 

Fitz thought she was beautiful. Her dress was gorgeous but she looked more an amazing. Her hair was curled and she wasn’t wearing too much makeup but her lips sparkled in the light which made him think things he shouldn’t. Fitz curled his fist reminding himself that he couldn’t do anything rash tonight. Just because he was Jemma’s date did not mean he was allowed to be her date. A date meant he would be able to hold her hand, pull her in real tight when they danced .. and maybe even kiss her at the end of the night. But he couldn't’ do that. Not now .. not ever. He had to keep telling himself that otherwise he’d end up with more problems than he had started. 

Jemma tightened her grip on his arm before she smiled at him lightly as they started to walk to their table as the reception was about to start. Jemma was grateful that she didn’t have to do a speech this year, last time her father had asked her to make a speech and she was so nervous. If it wasn’t for Fitz reassuring her every second she probably wouldn’t have made it through. All the talking was kind of droning on but she tried to listen for most of the time. The rest she was just giggling at something stupid Fitz just said to her. 

After all the toasts, speeches and meals they’d opened the dance floor and Jemma awkwardly stood with Fitz next to the bar watching everyone else - both secretly wanting to be out there dancing with each other. 

Jemma watched this one couple. They seemed so happy. The girl's head was rested on (who she assumed was) her boyfriend's shoulders and they were both looking into each other's eyes. The two of them whisked around the dance floor, their bodies pressed together as they swayed and took steps never losing eye contact. The emotion and passion that was radiating off them dancing was beautiful. Jemma momentarily closed her eyes and imagined herself in the girls place. Her head on his shoulder. Their body heat radiating off each other and just in the moment no one existed but them. The music played and they moved slowly - taking in the moment. Jemma imagined leaning her head up slightly and looking in his eyes. Into Fitz’s eyes. She totally lost herself now. In her mind she was dancing with Fitz. He was holding her in his arms - the way she’d always dreamed - and the two of them staring into each other's arms. “I love you” Jemma whispered to him and in her imagination - he responded with a breathtaking kiss. 

Fitz nudged her slightly drawing her out from her imagination. She glared at him but when he pointed to the entrance of the hall she gasped softly. He was the last person she wanted to see right now. 

Why was he here ? Who had invited him ? Why did he have to look so damn good ? 

Jemma tried to hide behind Fitz as quickly as possible. She did not need Will to ruin her perfectly good evening. Fitz turned to look at her and gave a sad smile. He knew the whole story and he wanted to help but he just didn’t know how. 

Will was Jemma’s ex. Well .. one of Jemma’s exes. The only thing was that he wasn’t like the rest of them - he was one of the stalkerish ones. He never got over Jemma and he was 150% sure that him and Jemma were meant to be. When Jemma had broken up with him he had come to her house every day with flowers apologising and Jemma had stayed at Fitz’s house for the next week until they were sure he had gone away. 

Will turned his head into their direction. Jemma ducked behind Fitz even further grabbing a hold of his suit jacket hoping not to be seen. She could see other people giving her odd looks but she honestly didn’t care. 

“Jem. I don’t think you can hide behind me all night. Plus he’s coming this way.” Fitz whispered to her - trying to be as discreet as possible. 

Jemma fretted again, trying not to be seen while also trying to think of something to get as much attention away from herself as possible. 

Jemma turned and saw Will coming right towards them. 

She grabbed Fitz’s hand and pulled him right across the hall before placing both her hands around his neck. 

She smiled up at him before tucking her head into the nook of his shoulder breathing in his scent. 

Fitz placed his arms on Jemma’s waist before they swayed side to side on the dance floor. 

Fitz’s hands were only light on her waist. He was too nervous to tighten his grip. Actually he was too shocked by all of this. He had not expected Jemma to drag him out onto the dance floor let alone dance with him in this type of manner. They were so close. He could smell the hint of her perfume and he couldn’t help but smile as she buried her face into his neck trying to avoid Will. 

Fitz will admit - he wasn’t the best dancer and right now he felt very awkward. Normally the guy was meant to lead but it felt like Jemma was leading him. His steps were mixed up and he had to try his hardest not to step on Jemma’s feet. 

The two of them dodged past other couples before finally finding a steady pattern. 

Fitz had finally gotten the hang of it and he tightened his grip on Jemma’s waist slightly before they kept moving around slightly. It was then that Jemma realized this was the moment that she had so wanted a few moments ago. Her dance. With Fitz. 

She heard Fitz humming the tune of the song and she couldn’t help but giggle. He smiled down at her and just took in all her features. She was stunning and her smile was always his favourite. 

“Jemma” A low voice called out causing Jemma to stumble to a halt and Fitz to trip over her feet. 

The two of them awkwardly apologised before trying to get themselves together again. 

“Jemma. Do you remember me ? It’s Will.” Fitz watched as Jemma’s face dropped slightly before she put on a fake smile at him. 

“Hi Will. It’s been ages” Jemma said politely even though she wanted nothing more than to walk away. 

“It has … so …” He trailed off and Jemma could see in his eyes that he still liked her and that he was going to bring that up any moment now. 

“Will. You know my BOYFRIEND Fitz.” Jemma introduced Fitz, while emphasising that he was her boyfriend. 

Fitz blushed beet red. “ uhhh .. Y-Yeh” He stumbled on his words. Totally shocked and surprised at what Jemma was doing. 

Jemma linked her hands with his before squeezing their hands reassuring them. 

She smiled at him with longing and it made Leo almost believe that it was all real. 

Will’s face though was priceless. He looked like a mix of shocked and upset. 

“Ummm .. oh … yeh ...hi Fitz” He awkwardly waved at him which Fitz replied with a curt nod. 

Fitz was almost so surprised that Jemma made all of this sound so natural. She blabbered on and on about how great he was which made him even more embarrassed but he stood there anyway. Hand in Hand with Jemma Simmons. 

The whole boyfriend story came totally by chance for Jemma. She didn’t even know what was coming out of her mouth before it happened. She just started talking and talking. 

All the built up feelings and true stories about why she loved Fitz just came out as she told Will. 

“He’s amazing. Did you know that he has a Phd in Engineering ? He got it when he was only 17.” Jemma told Will, “He also loves Doctor Who and we alway watch it together - all curled up at my house with blankets all wrapped around us.”

It surprised Jemma how easily talking about Fitz was. All the things she told him - they were all true. 

When Will finally got the message and decided to leave Fitz turned to Jemma, their hands still connected, and he just didn’t know what to say. 

Was all that she said about him true ? 

Jemma didn’t say anything. She was too embarrassed about how easily she spoke of Fitz and the look on his face was a mixed of shocked and embarrassed and she didn’t want to have another awkward conversation with him about it. 

Instead she decided to step back onto the dance floor and took Fitz with her. 

“You at least owe me the rest of this dance” She told him while grinning bright, “ … my boyfriend” She said with a wink. 

Fitz didn't know what to say. He blushed red again before awkwardly following Jemma’s lead. He liked the sound of being Jemma’s boyfriend but he knew not to get used to that. 

When Jemma wrapped her hands around Fitz’s neck again she knew that this time nothing was going to stop them. His grip on her waist was a lot tighter than before. More possessive. Jemma liked that. 

This time she didn’t put her head on his shoulder she looked straight into his eyes. 

The two of them moved around the dance floor as if they were one. At a point of time Fitz pulled her in closer, so they were barely inches away. 

Jemma in her mind wanted to tell Fitz everything. She wanted to tell him that she loved him. That she never wanted to let him go. But she knew that she couldn’t ruin their friendship in that way. 

Leo curved his head slightly. They were barely inches away now. Fitz could feel Jemma’s breath on his lips and his heart rate picked up. 

Jemma felt the closeness and she fluttered her eyes closed for a mere second. She wanted it to be true. She wanted him to lean in. She wanted him to kiss her. She could feel him coming in closer. They had stopped moving but his grip on her waist was as tight as ever. 

Her chest was pressed up against his and she could feel his eyelashes on hers. They were so close yet it still felt like they were so far apart. 

Leo’s lips were a ghost over hers before Jemma squeezed her eyes shut really hard before pulling back and leaving the two of them awkwardly standing there. A bright red travelling from their ears to their noses. Both of them too scared to say anything yet wanting to say everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Comments xo


	4. Final Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz and Jemma say their goodbyes before he leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because there was no ep this week and all of us are dying ... here's another chapter :)

"I-I ... I have to tell you something" Leo told her. He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck before looking back at her. He gently took her hand before he led her out of the venue to a secluded balcony overlooking the beach. 

Jemma - who was still not over the almost kiss she just had - was really confused about everything that was going on. Fitz had taken her hand and was now leading her away from everyone else. In her mind she started to worry about all the possible things he could have to say to her. 

_Maybe he was sick ... Was he dying ?_

_Did he finally get a girlfriend ?_

_Was he gay_?

_Maybe he knew that she liked him and thought it was too awkward ... She really hoped that wasn't it._

They both stood there overlooking the sea. Jemma leant against the balcony before putting her arms over the edge feeling the cool air blowing against her skin trying to just relax in the moment.

Suddenly she felt Fitz's presence behind her and she quickly turned around finding herself face to face to him. She thought back to what had happened before and wondered what would happen if she just closed that distance but Fitz seemed to notice the closeness and took a step back giving Jemma more space before going to stand next to her looking out as well.

"Do you remember when I applied for that big engineering project in Norway?"

 "Yeah ..." Jemma trailed off starting to see where this was going, " but I thought you didn't make the cut,” remembering how upset Fitz was when he received the call telling him that he wasn’t going.

 "I got a call. They said that someone dropped out so they have another place if I want it. " Fitz said slowly - trying to see when Jemma got the message.

 "Oh" She didn't really know how to feel. At first she was happy, she knew just how much Fitz had wanted this but at the same time he would be leaving for quite a while and she didn’t want him to leave.

 He was her best friend after all.

 "Are you going to take it ?" Jemma asked softly.

 "Honestly, I don't know," 

Fitz had thought hard about this. An opportunity like this only came around once but it would mean that he would be leaving Jemma. She was his best friend - he wanted to know what she thought about all this. Was he being stupid for dropping everything and going to Norway or would it be something he would regret not going?

“I … I think you should go.” Jemma told him.

Fitz - who didn’t realize he was holding his breath - let out a long sigh. Deep down he wanted to stay - he wanted to stay and be with her.  As cliche as it sounds, Fitz wanted her to stop him from going, he wanted her to come up to him, wrap her hands around his neck remembering how they were before. He wanted her to kiss him - he wanted to feel her lips pressed up against his - but most of all, he wanted her to tell him that he couldn’t leave she wanted him to stay …

But that was all his stupid imagination.

Instead, Fitz nodded at her response, looking into her eyes trying to see if there was any hint of regret in what she had said, but there was none. Jemma really wanted him to take this opportunity and if Jemma thought it was a good idea then it was.

He took her hand and stated, “I’m leaving tomorrow” before walking back inside mumbling something about going to get a drink.

Jemma’s hand felt cold once he’d left.

 

_Tomorrow. He was leaving tomorrow._

 

That was a lot sooner than she had expected, that was barely long enough for her to say a proper goodbye and mentally prepare for his not being there.

Jemma felt her heart drop but she had to keep telling herself this was the best option. Fitz was getting to live his dream and he was going to be happy and she shouldn’t be the one to stand between him and what he wanted.

 

\---~~---

 

{The Next Day}

 

“Are you sure you’ve got everything ?” Jemma fussed over him as they both got out of the cab.

“Yeah …I’ve got everything” Fitz had told her over and over.

Jemma sighed. She was going to miss him 

They’d agreed to call each other and text but they both knew that it wasn’t the same as seeing each other everyday. 

They both awkwardly stood there, not really knowing how this goodbye was going to go, they’d never really had to say goodbye ever since when they’d met and this wasn’t even for forever it was just for a few weeks.

Jemma looked up at Fitz and gave him a sad smile. 

“I’m going to miss you” She told him softly. 

“I’ll miss you more than anything Jemma. It won’t be the same without you” He told her before Jemma let out a sob and moved her arms around his neck to hug him. 

This hug wasn’t like all their other ones. Both of them held onto each other tight, tighter than normal, and their hug lasted longer than normal. Jemma laid her head on the crook of his neck and just relaxed into him, knowing it would be the last time for a long while he would hold her like this. Fitz felt his heart start to race at the closeness and he nuzzled his face into her hair her scent filling up his nose.

Jemma let out another sob and he could feel her body shaking and her tears staining his shirt. 

He pulled her back up before looking at her. She was beautiful even when she was crying.

“Jemma. You’re my best friend in the world …”   _and you’re more than that,_ Fitz considered telling her, right there and then. Just confessing all his feelings but when he looked at her he realized he couldn’t do that, “Don’t ever forget that”

He saw something in her eyes.

Upset … it was only there for a moment and then it disappeared but he saw it nonetheless.

She pulled him back and squeezed him tight before she moved her lips to kiss his cheek.

Her lips hovered over his skin before she moved away. It was an innocent kiss but Fitz felt a blush rising on his cheeks missing the heat that Jemma’s left on his cheek.

“Bye Fitz” she whispered as he turned to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys, hope you enjoyed the chapter. I might not be able to post the next chapter in a little while (IM SORRY. DON'T GET ANGRY AT ME.) But I'm working on both FS Secret Santa and Skyeward, so those r priority for me. I'll try to post b4 X-mas. <3 y'all


	5. I wish I could go back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's been selfish, thinking about herself and not Fitz. Now it was time to focus on him.

The plane took off. 

Leo leant his head back into the seat and tried to relax and hopefully get some sleep. He shut his eyes. Calmed his breathing - but he just couldn’t seem to doze off. 

Sitting back up he unlocked his phone - his home screen photo of him and Jemma - staring back at him. He unconsciously smiled before looking out the window at the abyss of sky. 

He missed her. 

It had been merely hours without her and already he longed to see her, hear her voice, just be around her. 

Without her something felt difference it was like they were connected and now that they were too far apart something in his heart didn’t feel right. It was like a part of him wasn’t there anymore - but he knew that would be something he had to get used to. 

This was the longest he’d be away from Jemma and he knew Jemma would be okay without him, so he had to be okay with her. No matter how hard it was for him. Fitz started to realise that this feeling probably wasn’t healthy and that this trip might be good because he would learn that he could survive on his own but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t miss her all the time. 

Anyway, it wasn’t forever. 

Looking at the photo on his phone one last time Fitz filled his mind with memories of Jemma and fell asleep - not waking up until the plane landed.

 

\---~~---

 

“It’s always just so annoying. He’s a lucky guy that I keep him around,” Bobbi fell back into the couch, complaining about her on and off relationship. 

“You love your relationship with Lance - you know it.” Daisy pointed out. 

No one knows exactly how long Bobbi have been together or even how long they’ve known each other, everyone has just known them together and they are always either arguing or making out, there’s no in between with the two of them. 

“I know! But he wants to get married again!” Bobbi complained to her group of friends, “The last time we got married it ended in disaster.” 

Daisy nodded along with her even though she didn’t believe in marriage. She was always one to change guys every few months. Last that everyone had heard her break up with Ward had been pretty messy but she’s now with Lincoln, and that seemed to be going pretty well, for now at least. 

Girls night had been prompted by Fitz’s leaving which left Jemma wanted to be surrounded by herself ranting about their problems rather than her moping about missing Fitz. 

The doorbell rang and Jemma jumped up to invite the last of her friends inside. 

“I’ve got the wine.” May’s voice rang out as she opened the door. 

Grabbing four glasses they all sat back down and the talking did not stop. 

“I don’t think I could ever do the marriage thing,” Daisy commented, looking at the ring Bobbi still occasionally wore. 

Everyone looked at Bobbi’s ring. 

Jemma didn’t really get why she still wore it - she wasn’t officially married to Hunter anymore. Plus - Bobbi said it herself, she doesn't want to get married again. Deep down she believed that Bobbi did want to marry Hunter but didn’t want to admit it. They were meant for each other. 

Bobbi fiddled with her ring, “It’s special to me” she told us all, smiling, “But never tell Hunter that” 

We all laughed at that - Hunter was head over heals in love with Bobbi already and everyone knew it. 

“I don’t know. Marriage just seems all too hard for me. I like being able to choose and change.” Daisy told us all before finishing off her glass and pouring another. 

Jemma didn’t know what to think. She did like being able to change partners - thinking through some of her previous relationships she could not imagine spending her life with them - but it was every girl's dream to find the right partner. Someone she could spend the rest of her life with … 

“It’s worked for me” May, who had stayed quiet silent during this conversation added in. 

“You mean it worked the second time” Daisy pointed out. 

May and Andrew. When they got a divorce it was different from Bobbi and Hunter. They didn’t talk, and lost contact - like a lot of divorcees. It’s only within the last year that they’ve gotten back together. And remarried. 

Everyone else knew May was a lot happier when she was with Andrew. 

“It’s nice knowing that there is someone always there for you - you get it Jemma? It’s like you and Fitz” 

Jemma thought about what May said, was it really like her and FitzYes Fitz was always there for her, and he made her happy but was that what marriage was like. 

“Yeah, I guess. I do have both - but Fitz and I aren’t married” she pointed out the blatantly obvious. 

“You may as well be” Daisy mumbled, “You guys act like an old married couple.”

“But wouldn’t it feel awkward. Practically dating someone who has a boyfriend” Bobbi pitched in. 

Jemma was quiet, she hadn’t thought about it that way. Suddenly a wave of realization washed over her : what has she been doing …she was practically using Fitz. 

She thought back to all the times when she introduced Fitz to her new boyfriend. Fitz had always been polite and had never said anything bad about any of them - even though clearly there were problems sometimes - she didn’t always choose the right guys. She thought back, not to what Fitz said but his face. His expression. His eyes were always darker, like he was hiding something. Regret. Sadness. Loneliness. 

“Shit” Jemma thought. All this time, she’d been perfectly happy having both Fitz and someone else but Fitz had no one else. Fitz always had her - and she never returned that feeling. 

“What have I done?” Jemma whispered to herself looking up at Daisy, Bobbi and May for help. 

They just all gave her a sad look not really knowing what to say. 

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Daisy asks, trying not to rustle Jemma any more. 

“I can’t.” Jemma told her, trying to hold back her tears, “It’s too late now.” 

She’d been hurting her best friend all this time and putting herself first when she should be putting him first. Why hadn’t Fitz ever said anything to her, well it was obviously because Fitz was perfect and ever since their first meeting he never spoke out against her.  

\---~~---

The next few days Jemma paced up and down in her apartment. She couldn’t stop. 

Her mind was all over the place, she couldn't think straight - after what the girls made her realize - it was constantly on her mind. She wished she could take it all back. Tell Fitz that she was wrong about everything. She wished she could tell him that he’s always meant something to her and that he should and could rely on her any time. Jemma knew she would dump any guy or leave any date if Fitz ever needed her, he just never said anything and she never really thought about it. She only needed him, and she wished she could tell him or show him just how much he means and has meant to her. But it was too late now.  

Fitz was … He was where he wanted to be. He was happy. This was what he wanted, she had to stop being selfish. She had to think about what Fitz wanted instead of all her needs for once. He had wanted this forever and she shouldn’t be the reason to ruin his dreams, if she owed him one thing it was to let him be where he belonged. 

Jemma ran her hand through her hair before lying down on her couch, groaning as she let her body fall back until she laid down staring up at the ceiling. Every few minutes Jemma would lean up and reach for her phone - checking to see for any new messages before lying back down. She kept doing this - as if a message would magically appear - but it never did. The worst bit was that was her phone was turned on the full volume so if she did get a notification it would ring out .. but she still kept checking. She was waiting … well no. She was hoping for a call or text, or really anything from Fitz. Deep down she just wanted him to be thinking about her too. 

She picked up her phone for the hundredth time, telling herself that it was just to check the time and couldn’t help but put on a sad smile as she saw the photo of her Fitz. She had to stop lying to herself, she missed him … a lot.Almost unconsciously she clicked onto her contacts before pressing ring under Fitz’s name. 

She moved her phone to her ear before letting it ring. 

He didn’t pick up, so she rung again.  

He picked up on the third call. 

“Jemma?” Fitz groggily replied. He quickly pulled the phone from behind his ear to see that it was just past 2am. 

“Hey Fitz” He heard her respond, almost shyly. 

He waited for her to say something but Jemma didn’t know exactly what to say. So many thoughts were running through her head but she didn’t want to say the wrong thing - she had done enough damage. In the end the two of them were just in silence, listening to each other's breathing. 

It was Jemma who finally decided to break the silence, scared that if no one said anything she might blurt out an unneeded love confession or he might end the call. 

“How is it .. you know .... how is it there?” 

“It’s nice. Not too different from home though, but the place I’m staying is very small. “ Fitz was tired and he was barely coping to stay awake but he didn’t want to hang up on Jemma. 

“Oh.” Jemma responded - she didn’t know what to say, she just was glad to hear his voice. It made her feel more complete and secure knowing that he was listening in. Jemma’s thoughts started to wonder before it hit her … their was a time difference between them. 

“Fitz.” Jemma checked the clock and noticed that it was early morning for him, “I’m so sorry. I forgot. The times.” 

“Jemma … it’s okay. I’m fine” He was lying but he was happy to hear from her and she was all that mattered to him right now, “How are you?” He asked, there was something in her voice that wasn’t right and he wanted to make sure that everything was okay. 

“It’s lonely without you Fitz. I miss you” Jemma finally admitted it - there was no point hiding it, she did miss him plus she maybe had a drink. 

“Jem I miss you too, but soon enough i’ll be back and everything will be back to normal…” Fitz trailed off. 

“No. No it won’t, it will be different” She told him, she was sure that she was going to change when he got back, but she didn’t have the heart to tell him exactly what she was going to change. She wanted to spill her heart out but she knew it wasn’t right. He was far away and he’s just left. 

Fitz almost asked why, why would it be different, why did it have to be different but he was too tired. 

It was getting later and later. Jemma knew that Fitz was getting tired but she didn’t want to hang up - she knew it was selfish but she knew that she wouldn’t get to talk to him very often and she wanted to make the most of these moments. It almost felt like he was here, lying next to her and they were laughing about some stupid thing they saw in a movie. It was like everything was normal … but she knew it wasn’t. 

“Jemma … i’m about to fall asleep” Fitz told her - his eyes were starting to shut and he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep himself up any longer. 

Jemma sighed, she didn’t want him to go. 

“Bye Fitz …” She whispered still not ready to let go. 

She waited to see if she could hear anything but it was just the rhythmic pace of his breathing. She was about to hang up, he must have fallen asleep and it would be weird to just keep listening to him breathe, even though that was what she wanted to do. She could fall asleep listening to him, just the sound of him made her miss him less. 

Just as she was about to end the call she heard a rustling, like Fitz was shifting his body before … 

“I love you Jemma” 

Her heart stopped. 

“Fitz … “ 

She got no response. She was about to call out again before she heard a click sound and the call disconnected. Jemma sat there, not really sure what to do. Surely he didn’t mean it in the same way she did. He used to always tells her he loved her but it was always in a ‘friendly’ kind of way. A large part of her wanted to believe that he felt the same but she couldn’t let herself do that. 

Placing the phone on the table beside her Jemma flopped back into the couch closing her eyes - so unsure of everything right now. 

Well she was unsure of everything but one thing … Leo Fitz just told her he loved her and she, she thinks she might love him too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I've been held up. This will probably be the last post until after Christmas. I promise I'll post before the new year :) Love you all


	6. Somewhere else ... Somewhere nice

It wasn’t that Jemma didn’t try to move on. She did - she tried and tried - but it just wasn’t the same without having Fitz by her side. This has never happened before. Now every guy she went on a date with she nitpicked about every little thing he did that she didn’t like.

The first date she went on was with the bartender at the local cafe where she got her morning coffee. His name was Antoine. He had started flirting with her and Jemma couldn’t help but put on her charm and flirt back. He had written his number on her coffee cup, cliche she knows, but Jemma really needed to take something off her mind and a date was what she thought would be the perfect opportunity. Antoine had met her to go watch an old movie at the small theatre in the area. Her and Fitz used to always go and watch black and white films here, she loved watching them because she found them classic and Jemma always felt like they transported her back in time.

“Why did you choose this cinema? You know there’s a newer one just down the road.” Antoine commented to Jemma as she approached him, standing on her toes to give him a hug.

“I like classic films.” Jemma told him with a cute smile, trying to erase any other thoughts and focus solely on the date.

Antoine just looked at her oddly trying to give her a light smile, before they both walked in to buy tickets.

The cinema was very small, it fit no more than 15 people, and today just happened to have a full cinema. This meant that Jemma was sitting with the side of her body pressed against Antoine's. It wasn’t that she minded, this happened quite often with her and Fitz when they went, but it didn’t feel the same. Antoine’s body was stiff and felt uncomfortable to be leaning against. Not only that but his breathing was so loud and that was all Jemma could hear throughout the movie. When Antoine moved to put his arm around her she flinched slightly before telling herself to just relax - it didn’t help. Jemma felt anxious, she never felt like this when she went on dates. As the movie went on Jemma became so engrossed in the movie that she hadn’t noticed that Antoine had fallen asleep next to her.

When the movie ended Jemma wasn’t really sure what to do. Everyone around her was starting to leave, the ones who weren’t were just looking at her and her ‘date’.

“Antoine” Jemma called, shaking his shoulder softly.

His eyes started to open before he realized where he was and what happened.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Jemma.”

She didn’t know what to say. What could you say … Jemma merely just mumbled that it was okay before she rushed off, leaving him in the cinema. She would admit that it probably wasn’t the most polite thing to do, but honestly she just wanted to get away from him as soon as possible.

After the date Jemma went home and tried to nut out why her date went so terribly. She had been dating guys for years and all her dates had gone exceptionally well. All her dates but this one.

If it were Fitz, everything would have gone well

Jemma thought to herself.

—-~~—-

The next date that she had the gut to go on was someone Daisy set her up with who she claimed was ‘just her type.’ Jemma was hesitant on going on a date with him, after the last one she wasn’t so sure that she was ready for another failed date. Daisy convinced her otherwise and before she knew it Jemma was sitting at her local cafe with Zachary.

The cafe where they were eating was where she and Fitz would come all the time. They had a tradition where Jemma would always order for Fitz and he would always order for her. The aim was to try and see if they could guess what each other wanted to eat. When she sat down with Zachary she felt comfortable, they got on well. He talked a lot but Jemma didn’t mind.

“So what did you feel like ordering?” Zachary questioned Jemma.

“How about you order for me and I’ll order for you?” Jemma suggested. She knew that it was meant to be her tradition with Fitz but maybe if she realized that if she tried the tradition with someone else it wouldn’t feel so special to just her and Fitz and she could get over him a bit faster.

Zachary agreed thinking it would be fun and they both ordered, not letting each other hear what they got before they waited for their food to arrive.

Jemma had chosen a lemon tart. It was one of and Fitz’s favourites and she knew that Zachary would love it - you really couldn’t not - it was really good.

When a plate was placed in front of Jemma she had to try her hardest not to contort her face.

Apple meringue.

Not that there was anything wrong with apple meringue, it just wasn’t one of her favourites. It wasn’t anywhere near one of her favourites. Meringues just weren’t Jemma’s thing, although Fitz loved them.

She had to try her hardest to look pleased as the eat it, not wanting to let Zachary know that she didn’t like it. He, on the other hand, was loving the tart and Jemma was minorly offended when he didn’t offer her any.

As they finished up their desserts and Zachary started to walk Jemma back to her car she couldn’t help but constantly find small things about him that kept bothering her. His hand were pressed to hard on her back, he was slightly shorter than her, his shoes were old and very worn out…. In the end she decided that a first date was enough and didn’t bother contact him for a follow up.

—-~~——

No more dates. That’s what she decided. She couldn’t do it anymore - every guy she went out with she just compared to Fitz and none of them were anything like him. Fitz was so much better than all of them and she couldn’t get that out of her mind. Jemma thought it was time to start afresh. She was going to forget all her failed dates and she was just going to take each day as it comes.

She was at the local cafe. This time by herself - eating a slice of pie. She tried to not think about how much she missed Fitz but it heavily crossed her mind. As she looked out the cafe window she saw an elderly woman sitting on a park bench by herself.

Jemma sighed. She hoped that she wouldn’t end up like that - sad and lonely on a park bench by herself. She continued to watch the lady - she didn’t seem upset, or lonely … she seemed calm and almost pleased. That was when she noticed someone walking towards the lady. An elderly man. She watched as the lady’s face lit up before she stood up and the two met and shared a kiss. Jemma didn’t know whether she wanted to be angry or happy.

 

She was angry because everyone around her seemed to be in a relationship or in love. She looked around the cafe and just saw couples everywhere. They all seemed so happy with each other - and then there was her. Sitting by herself … eating pie.

On the other hand she was also happy because who doesn’t feel happy when they see elderly people in love. They both looked so happy - sitting next to each other just watching the birds while holding hands. Jemma wanted to hopefully have a future like that. Where she could sit with him and just talk about everything. They would hold hands and kiss and never want to be apart - doesn’t matter what their age. She wanted to grow old with him.

Him … Fitz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ily


	7. We get closer and then break apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thx cynth for helping me beta. ilysm <3

Fitz missed her.

They’d been apart for too long. Since that unexpected phone call that early morning, they’d barely spoken. Well yes, they’d texted every few days but it wasn’t the same. He could feel them growing apart and all he wanted to do was come back home and wait for everything to go back to normal.

Fitz spent his free time trying to occupy himself - he was trying to not think about Jemma, but she was always in the back of his mind. He constantly wondered about her - How she was? What she was doing now? How did their daily routine change now that he wasn't here? Did she miss him as well ? He had wondered whether she had a new boyfriend. New best friend ? What if he came back and she had replaced him … Jemma wouldn't do that - would she ?

Fitz tried to move on. He tried not to think about her, but it was hard. It was harder than he thought it would be, to let her go.

He considered texting her and ringing her all the time but he always talked himself out of it. Jemma would have a life back at home. She would have continued her daily routine and adjusted to a lifestyle without him - she didn’t need him anymore. Plus anyway if she really wanted to talk to him she would have texted or rung more. So this meant he had to do the same - to let her go. He had been gone for so long and should have adjusted a long time ago, but without her, he was always missing something.

It wasn’t that there weren’t opportunities. There were plenty. Plenty of chances for him to go out, be social, meet girls and new friends but none of it felt right to him. Fitz just wanted to be with Jemma, but he’d convinced himself that she didn’t want to be with him, that she didn’t want him . . .

There was a chance that he might never go back - that he would stay in Norway. He never even considered it, but when he put everything into perspective, maybe that’s what he should do. Just get himself away from everything he had known for so long and start anew. Forget about has past, his family, his friends … forget Jemma.

Maybe one day they would re-cross paths in the future . . . He loved Jemma, he knew that, but he also knew that Jemma would never love him. They weren’t … they just weren’t meant to be. All the boys she dated were never like him. If anything, they were the opposite of him. Not only that, but Jemma just thought of them as friends … really good friends.

It was time for him to move on.

It was time to put himself out there in the world. He was learning so much here and it really was an opportunity that he would never have met again if he had denied. There were so many like minded people and he knew Jemma would have loved it here too even though it wasn’t exactly in her field. He’d been putting off actively trying to go meet new people and people were starting to think he was weirder than he already was. People were starting to branch off into their own groups of friends that they’d made and then there was Fitz who was always looking at his phone trying to decide whether he should ring Jemma but he’d decided that Jemma will always be his best friend and that wouldn’t mean that he couldn’t still put himself out there a bit more.

—-~~—-

Jemma took a deep breath. All she had to do was tell Daisy the truth - the realisation about her and Fitz. She needed to tell someone. Keeping it all bottled up inside herself had not been going well for her the past few days…. She’d sounded really awkward when turning down a second date offer and she wasn’t as smooth when it came to not thinking about Fitz either. She would constantly be checking her phone and paranoid when her phone wasn’t connecting properly - like what if he rang or texted her but she missed it. Not only that, but she had to constantly make sure that she was always busy, otherwise she’d get bored and let her mind wander - wonder about a future with Fitz. Which would be impossible, right?

Sometimes the thought crossed her about what Fitz would be doing at that moment. She’d come to the conclusion that Fitz was either really busy or moving on with his life because they didn’t talk anywhere near as much as they’d hoped.

“I’m done” Jemma announced to Daisy.

“You’re done ? Done what?” Daisy looked back at her questionably, putting down her cup of coffee.

“With this guy thing - the constant change of boyfriends, the sleeping around - I’m done.” Jemma said - holding her ground.  
Daisy was silent for a moment … “What’s with the change of heart? Who caused this change of heart?” she asked teasingly.

Jemma felt herself go red. Was she ready to admit the truth to Daisy? … this would the first time she told anyone- but in a way she felt like everyone already knew everyone except her. When she looked back up at her friend she realised that Daisy wasn’t even expecting an answer - she was just looking at her knowingly, that told Jemma everything. Daisy’s eyes were shining and she had a big grin . She knew … and she just wanted Jemma to admit it.

“It’s about time Jemma, about time. I know I normally don’t believe in the whole forever love thing but you and Fitz are different, kind of like Bobbi and Hunter except you’ve both got it sorted out a lot more” Daisy confessed.

“I think I’m going to tell him.” Jemma decided.

“But he’s in Norway! Are you going to tell him over the phone? Would that be weird - maybe you should wait till he comes back. Can you even wait that long? What if he already has a girlfriend - wait! No! That wouldn’t happen, he loves you.” Daisy rambled on, going through different scenarios, which makes Jemma dread even more about the whole situation.

Was she sure about her decision? Jemma wasn’t really sure about anything anymore - all she knew was that she wanted to be with Fitz and honestly that was enough for her to make the first step. With Fitz, everything seemed right - they belonged with each other. They had been friends for long enough and she knew that if she didn’t do something soon, it would be too late. . .

“When he gets back.” Jemma decided, “I’m going to tell him when he gets back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slow updates - i hope this was worth the wait. the next chapter is going to be a big one ... i promise :))))


	8. Cause I can love you more than this

“I have something to tell you” Fitz’s voice vibrates through the phone excitedly.

He was coming back today. Actually he’d just landed and Jemma could not have been more happy to hear his voice again. She has missed him more than she ever imagined she would and even just hearing his voice was already making her heart speed up a little. His words left Jemma in anticipation. She had no idea what he wanted to tell her, but she assumed it was a good thing because he seemed excited to tell her. In her head ran a million different possibilities of what he had to tell her but Jemma also knew she had to tell him something as well. They agreed to meet at the cafe they always ate at together. To say Jemma was nervous was an understatement. She had woken up at 6am and spent the next 4 hours getting ready and worrying about what to wear. She went through her whole wardrobe before deciding nothing was good enough and started to panic.

After telling Daisy Jemma had felt a lot less tense about her whole realisation that she liked Fitz. She was a lot more accepting of it and instead of missing him and counting the time that he’d been gong she counted the time until he came back. She tried messaging and calling him more but he was busy a lot of the time, which was reasonable.

“Daisy. Can I come over? I need clothes.” Jemma rant to her friend panicking about her “lunch date” … well that’s what she called it.

“What’s wrong with your wardrobe? I specifically remember you telling me that you had an “above average sense of fashion” Daisy mocked Jemma’s voice which caused her to huff into the phone.

Jemma flopped onto her couch before groaning.

“Just wear the blue dress. Fitz loves that dress.” Daisy told the highly distressed Jemma before hanging up with the foreboding promise that they’d talk about what happened at lunch after Jemma got home.

Putting the blue dress on she prepared over and over what she was going to say to him. She was ready. She just knew that after today things would be different.

—-~~—-

Jemma walked into the cafe and started looking for Fitz. She nervously brushed her dress down over the nonexistent crease while she wondered whether she was overdressed for not. She quickly took at look at her watch to make sure she hadn’t gotten the time wrong - 11am, on the dot - but it wasn’t uncommon for Fitz to be late so why was she fretting so much? Just as Jemma was about to reach for her phone to check if he’d texted her that he was going to be late she heard her name being called. She looked up to see Fitz standing up at a small booth near the back of the cafe waving at her. He was smiling but she could tell that something wasn’t right, was he just as nervous as she was? But why would he be? Jemma quickly walked around tables, politely excusing herself between other couples, trying to get to Fitz as quick as possible.

He looked different. He’d grown his stubble out and his hair was cut a lot shorter than it used to be. Not only that but he was dressed in a blue button down shirt which made him look a lot more …mature. It wasn’t a bad look for Fitz, it wasn’t bad at all. Jemma felt herself go red slightly just thinking about it but all her thoughts came to sudden halt when she arrived at the table.

She was beautiful …No- she was absolutely stunning. She had long dark hair which cascaded down past her shoulders, accentuating her light brown eyes not to mention her perfect makeup. Not only her looks but her persona as well. She brought liveliness with her and it was like she was constantly glowing. But despite her looks the one thing that Jemma noticed first about her was how Fitz’s hand was entwined with hers as they sat at the table. She noticed how Fitz was looking at her with wide eyes, longingly, and how she looked back at him with such admiration and …love.

She stood up alongside Fitz before introducing herself. Her voice was soft and airy.

“I'm Kaitlyn. Fitz’s …” She looked at fitz warily. Pausing, not finishing her sentence as if she was waiting for his confirmation.

“Fiancé” Fitz butted in before there was a long silence waiting for Jemma's response.

Jemma noticed it now, the ring on her fourth finger. It was simple and elegant yet obvious that it was a highly expensive ring. Jemma could only force a tight smile onto her face, nodding her head a little bit in acknowledgement.

“Congratulations” Jemma mumbled out before they all sat down. Kaitlyn sitting next to Fitz, while Jemma sat across them.

Jemma had never understood when people said ‘their heart broke into a thousand pieces’ but she did now. She looked at Kaitlyn and Fitz and all she saw was pure happiness. That was meant to be her, she was meant to be the one for Fitz but she missed her chance because she was so blindsided. She felt a tear roll down her cheek but she brushed it away before anyone saw. Her head hurt. This was all too much, seeing Fitz again was meant to be perfect. She was meant to have told him how she felt. He was meant to have reciprocate those feelings - it was meant to be perfect.

She now realised why he hadn’t been talking to her as much, he had been dating her.

“Jemma, are you okay?” Fitz asked worriedly, probably noticing the fact that she hadn’t said anything in a while.

“So how did you two meet?” Jemma asked courteously, trying to break the silence - because it’s not like she really wanted to know. Actually, the moment the question left her mouth she regretted it greatly because their story was more than perfect.

“That’s a funny story actually.” Fitz started, letting out a dry laugh, meeting Jemma’s eyes for a second before averting and looking back at the table. “I was a bit lost on my first day, I didn’t really know how to get anywhere and I was running late to the meeting and then I saw Kaitlyn. She was just walking calmly, she looked so confident, so calm. I remember being too nervous to ask for help which was why she was the one who approached me.”

Fitz paused, looking at Kaitlyn and sharing a smile.

“That was how it all started I guess. Turns out we were going to the same building, Kaitlin works as an building designer, and everyday we passed each other going to work - so we decided we’d just walk to work together, and walk back together. Then … after about 2 weeks I found the courage to ask her out and we’ve been together every since.”

Jemma just kept nodded, hoping that her face showed some interest in Fitz’s story.

“How did you propose?” Jemma continued to ask him.

“Actually I proposed” Kaitlyn chimed in.

“I was thinking about it” Fitz rebutted, making sure his point was known, “But she proposed and I said yes.”

“Oh. Wow. That’s. Wonderful.”

Jemma was barely holding it together. This was not how it was meant to go.  
She could feel the tears building up again and all she wanted to do was let them flow. She wanted to go home and lie in her bed and cry for days. What had she done to deserve this.

“Jemma. We wanted to ask you something … “ Fitz started, looking at Jemma. Waiting for a response.

Jemma nodded.

“We … I … Wanted to know whether you’d do the honor of being my Best Man. Well … Best Woman, for the wedding.”

“Me?”

“You’ve been beside me the whole damn time … who else would I ask.”

Jemma was silent.

She looked at Kaitlyn, then at Fitz. She thought about his offer.  
He wanted her to be his Best Man. The role that normally went to the grooms best friend. The word ‘friend’ stuck in her mind and she broke it. She couldn’t do it.

“Sorry” Jemma mumbled before running off. She left the cafe and ran back her apartment in tears.


	9. Heal it or break it all apart

Fitz could feel all eyes turn onto him as Jemma rushed out of the cafe in such a distressing manner. He didn’t know where to look. He could feel Kaitlyn’s eyes on him as well but he was too scared to look back to her, he didn’t know what emotion he would see or that he would portray.

The memory of Jemma’s face was etched into his mind. Her eyes had started to go red and they were lined as if tears were going to start falling out at any moment. There was emotion in her face, yet at the same time, it was full of sadness. She looked broken and it hurt Fitz that he had done that to her, he couldn’t bare the thought that he had hurt her any more - that was too much for him. But what he couldn’t figure out was what exactly he had done wrong … he thought Jemma would be happy for him - she always told him to settle down.

Disappointment filled him, as it had taken so much for him to be with Kaitlyn. Long nights of just wondering what it would be like if him and Jemma were together, trying to salvage a small bit of hope that maybe she liked him back - but Fitz knew better than that. It took him a while but he accepted that there was no chance - that there was nothing between them. That was when he started turning his eyes towards Kaitlyn. He knew she was there, he knew that she liked him and he knew that there should be nothing … there was nothing stopping him.

Kaitlyn was pretty he wouldn’t lie and she was kind and sweet. In a way she sometimes reminded him of Jemma but at the same time she was totally different. When they’d first started talking he’d mentioned Jemma so often that she thought that they were dating but when he shut that down Kaitlyn started to realise she had a stronger chance than she thought and Fitz realised that he should take her up on that chance.

He didn’t really have anyone else and she always made him see a more positive side of going out and meeting more people and in a way she helped pick himself up. The more time he spent with her the less time he spent thinking about Jemma to a point where Kaitlyn really was where all his time was spent. He would admit that he wasn’t over Jemma, Fitz doesn’t think he ever will be, but at that time he had to realise that he had to move on.

The concept of marriage wasn’t always his plan so quickly but he really did love Kaitlyn and they’d developed into something more than he ever thought and had ever felt with someone else.

“I’ll go talk to her” Fitz mumbled to Kaitlyn before taking off after Jemma.

\---~~---

Fitz after frantically searching for over 15 minutes decided that to find Jemma he would have to think more logically than just running around everywhere. He was so worried, it wasn’t like Jemma to just run off like that - it was rare that he ever saw her cry and when she did, it was never in public. He knew that she hated seeing people notice her cry because she felt like she was revealing a weakness - but he never believed that.

He would always tell her that showing people your tears was a strength that not many people have but she never listened.

Slowing down for a moment to breathe and think carefully, he looked around and started to think more like Jemma would.

If I were Jemma where would I go.

Walking for a bit more, Fitz came across a small park just around the corner from the cafe, and rested on a park bench underneath two looming trees was Jemma.

She had her head in her hands and he could see her shoulders moving as she sobbed.

Fitz didn’t know what to do, he slowly started to walk towards her - trying not to be so obvious as he was scared that she might run away if she saw him. He sat down next to her, not saying anything at first. He could tell that she noticed that it was him because her crying started to slow down until she was just breathing slowly with her hands to her face.

She turned her body away from him slightly not wanting to be near him but deep down she wanted the opposite.

Fitz wanted to pull her closer to him and wrap his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into him tight, but he didn’t know whether Jemma would have appreciated it or not. Instead he settled with lightly resting his arm on the lower part of her back and quietly asked her if she was okay.

Jemma nodded but both of them knew she was lying.

“What’s going on Jemma?” Fitz asked cautiously, “Is it something I did?”

Jemma violently shook her head, as if almost over exaggerated.

“Is something going on? Work? Family?”

“No. Don’t worry about it Fitz. It’s nothing.” Jemma told him before starting to stand up and walking away.

Fitz grabbed her arm as she was walking away.

“No.” He said strongly. “It is not nothing. I know I’ve been gone a long time and that things are a bit different between us but that doesn’t mean I don’t know you. I know you. You are Jemma Simmons and this … this behaviour today... This isn’t you. I know it isn’t and I want … No, I need you to tell me what is going on.”

Jemma let out a breath that she’d been holding before looking up at him, her eyes all watery and cheeks red from all the crying.

“Really Fitz. It’s nothing … you wouldn’t understand.” Jemma exclaimed before walking off quickly, grateful that Fitz didn’t follow her again.

\---~~---

“You have to say yes!” Daisy exclaimed to a horrified looking Jemma.

“No. I don’t.” Jemma argued for like the 7th time.

According to Daisy, Jemma had to say yes because it was her only option. She told Jemma that if she said no, Fitz would think something was wrong and they could ruin their friendship and both of them knew that Jemma would do anything to save their friendship.

After their conversation Jemma didn’t know what to feel. Fitz kept hinting that he liked her back but considering he was about to get married to another girl it was pretty clear that he didn’t, and she had to stop hoping that he did. As much as it pained her to admit, Daisy did have a point. Fitz was already suspicious about Jemma’s sudden change of behavior and she didn’t need him worrying about her, especially considering he was engaged and had a wedding to plan - she didn’t need Kaitlyn on her tail either.

“... And then, throughout all your “Best woman” duties, you can seduce him up and change his mind.”

Jemma’s mouth dropped.

“Voila. Perfect Plan” Daisy announced suddenly, leaving Jemma speechless, eyes wide.

Sometimes Jemma didn’t even know how Daisy was her best friend because she comes up with the most outrageous ideas. There was no way that Jemma was going to steal away the groom, not only was that wrong on so many levels, Fitz didn’t even like her back and he was happy with Kaitlyn. She was not getting in the way of his happiness.

Jemma nodded to herself. She will do it. Not for any reason, but because she couldn’t decline her best friend’s happiness. She wasn’t going to lose her best friend just because she loved him. She had said that he owed it to him after all of this and this was how she was going to do that.


	10. Caution when it comes to love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> best man duties : 
> 
> Engagement Dinner ✓  
> Organize groomsmen's fittings. Keep everything on schedule ✓

The tension at the table was growing as the minutes passed on. No one really knew what to do or say because all of this was so unexpected. Jemma sat to Leo’s right with Kaitlyn on his left. The table was full of their close friends and family, all not even really sure what was going on. Leo nervously pushed his chair back and stood up looking up and down the table trying to grab everyone's attention without having to cause a disruption to the other people in the restaurant.

“Ummm. Thank you to all my friends and family for coming here today especially on such short notice and with no pretense … but I’m here to introduce you to Kaitlyn, my fiance.”

Everyone went silent for a second before there were soft murmurs. It was Fitz’s family that started off the congratulations. Jemma just sat there smiling at the happy couple trying to conceal her inner feelings. Hunter was talking to Bobbi looking between Fitz, Jemma and Kaitlyn. Jemma looked at them suspiciously before they smiled and both said their well wishes to Fitz.

After the prolonged introductions the table settled into a buzz of conversations. Jemma tried to join in wherever she could but she couldn’t help but watch Fitz and Kaitlyn’s couple banter and the way they acted around each other and just wish she could have what Kaitlyn had. Where had she gone so wrong as she not have seen Fitz in front of her this whole time? What had she missed that let her mind forget that Fitz was the one? That being said she couldn’t deny Fitz of his happiness. Him and Kaitlyn were the couple that would grow old together and when you’d pass them in the park you’d mentally wish you could have that. They fit together perfectly and she got along swell with his family and friends and she’d only just met them.

Jemma must have looked really out of it because the next thing she could feel was Bobbi pulling at her arm, dragging her off to the bathroom.

“Jemma! What’s gotten into you? I know you’re bad at lying … but all you have to do is fake a smile.”

“I was … I am!” Jemma exclaimed, smiling at herself in the mirror, trying to make it look as natural as possible.

“No, you looked like you were about to strangle Kaitlyn. Your eyes were wide with jealousy” Bobbi commented making Jemma stumble on what she was going to say next because she knew that that was true.

Jemma was jealous. She was upset, but not at Fitz : at herself…. She couldn’t be upset at Fitz, he’d done nothing wrong. That was why Jemma had to do this. She had to be the perfect best woman for Fitz. Not only because she owned him that much but because he deserved everything to be perfect and if that meant, for Jemma, to be there standing beside him at the aisle … watching him and Kaitlyn get married : that’s what she’d do.

Walking out of the bathroom Jemma realised exactly how much time had passed because people were getting up and saying their goodbyes. Bobbi mouthed a good luck to Jemma before her and Lance wished the couple their best before taking off as well. Jemma was one of the last people who stayed but that’s because she was waiting for the right moment.

Just as Kaitlyn was saying goodbye to the final guests and walking them to the door, enveloped in a conversation, Jemma took the opportunity to go talk to Fitz.

He smiled as he saw her approaching him. With her arms wide open she hugged him tight. As cliche as it sounded she never wanted to let go, she felt him squeeze her tighter, and Jemma wasn’t sure if it was just her or their hug lasted longer than normal. She rested her head on his shoulder before whispering her congratulations. Fitz looked at her and smiled lightly, telling her that it meant a lot that she was agreeing to helping him out with the wedding. That brought Jemma out of her haze as she realised, once again, that Fitz was getting married, she quickly backed away, knowing that if Kaitlyn saw them she would make Jemma an enemy but Fitz held her close. It was as if he didn’t want to let go either, but Jemma knew that wasn’t true. His grip loosened almost hesitantly as Kaitlyn reapproached them and Jemma straightened herself going to hug her.

They left separate ways. Literally. Jemma turned her head one last time to see Fitz looking at her as Kaitlyn grabbed his hand and they walked away.

She’d agreed now, she couldn’t back out, it was for Fitz. For Fitz.

\---~~---

Calling up Bobbi and Daisy she told them what she had to do and they were proud of her, a little unsure about how this all might end, but proud that she wasn’t going to give up. Jemma still knew she was conflicted but she couldn’t let it get in her way.

Once Fitz was married to Kaitlyn she would be his best friend, that’s normally how it works right, your partner, soulmate, best friend. Well that’s what Jemma had always heard people say in films and books. That would mean Jemma had gone from someone Fitz called his best friend to someone he would barely even leave a sideward glance because all his attention will be and is all on Kaitlyn. His fiance.

“Do you know the worst part?” Jemma started to voice her thoughts after a few too many glasses of wine.

“The worst part is that I just have to deal with all this because I can’t do anything about it. I want him to be happy and he is and now I have to move on with my life knowing that I’m not and I was never good enough for him” Jemma admitted flopping back onto the couch, “... not good enough for anyone” she sighed.

Bobbi and Daisy looked at her with worried eyes, this is exactly what they didn’t want to happen. They didn’t want to see her hurt herself while trying to fix everything. They watched her silently waiting to see if Jemma was going to say anything else but and shut her eyes for a moment before standing up trying to forget and leave everything behind and walked into her room as if nothing was wrong.

\---~~---

The next morning Jemma had met up with Fitz’s other grooms-men whom she had known about just as long as Fitz had knew them. They were her friends as much as Fitz and they were a lot more supportive of Jemma being the “best woman” then she’d expected them to be.

If she was fully honest they seemed cold and harsh towards Kaitlyn which normally Jemma would have scolded them for but it was their choice and their opinion.

They met and organised all the fittings for the tuxes and the boutonnieres while also mentally trying to choose what dress she wanted. Kaitlyn had told her that hers didn’t have to match the other bridesmaids and that she could choose but she wanted to match the other groomsmen colours so Jemma was constantly fretting over what dress was too much or what wasn’t enough but all was to take her mind off everything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait ... there's been a lot going on in my life right now and I haven't been dealing very well but I hope to get back on track with writing soon :) i love you all

**Author's Note:**

> Leave Love <3


End file.
